"I want to take the time to apologize

To absolutely fucking nobody." - Conor McGregor

I've been removed from some people's lives I didn't expect because of my last blog, but I don't really give a bollocks. I only know because they are a couple of people I somewhat cared about and followed. I reciprocated their feelings. Wish you the best in your lives. You're dead to me now. I'll sleep well. I might even snore. We'll see...

The truth is hard to read sometimes. I understand. Too many people getting their feelings hurt lately. Tough times call for tough decisions sometimes. Educate yourselves to what's really going on. I used to listen to things from different resources and just accept the information. "The news said it, has to be true." I've learned to question everything. I read differences of opinion before I decide my belief systems. It's important to know what you're up in arms about before you start sharing information. It's also kinda dangerous if you're not educated or properly informed.

A perfect example my last blog. Well, perfect example might be stretching it. We'll call it the "New Truth." 

The New Truth is, I had thoughts of writing out those feelings years ago, but I didn't. I waited until I was certain of my feelings. I waited until I knew 100% I wanted no part of that world anymore. No more Greenfest. No more anything. I also want to make clear I didn't write that to hurt anyone in particular. I could have been way greasier and I was. My first draft was a full on uncut version. I read it and thought, "Damn you're a pit viper when you want to be Jon Paul." Well done JP. Tarantino would have blushed. So in retrospect I saved you. You're welcome. I can and will cut your ass though. It's a skill I possess. I've kept those things under my hat for a long time. I will continue to leave names out moving forward. I don't hate you for it. I just think you're a shitbag of a person. A fair assessment I might add. That's also plural person(s). Everyone that has asked me who these people are... you don't have to look very far. I'm not going to share though. I'm not a pile of shit like them. I'm just a little musty that's all.

I wrote that entry much like all of these entries, for me. It keeps me from eating a bullet. I wrote it to heal myself from leaving behind something that I loved very much at one time. It's like finally ending a bad marriage. Of course there are names with those incidents, but I didn't want to do things like that. Unless you're Jimmy Perkins. He's fair game. Even Ray Wylie knows he's an lying son of a bitch. I decided I would let the world handle the rest of them. It just became a bad relationship for me. I lost my trust in the people I believed in the most. That includes a couple of the folks who had been with me from early on. Instead of continuing to inflict my negative feelings on the folks who still care about it. I prayed on it and found my peace in detaching myself. I'm so noble. Like Tommy Fucking Nobel. Yea right. No way. Not eva.

I also got blocked by a DJ from a radio station I once supported. That's past tense if you didn't know. I think he's a yankee anyway so who gives a shit right? What could a yankee really know about Texas Music? Not enough I can assure you. I laugh because he's one of those guys who thinks he's really somebody in that scene because he's essentially nobody without it. God, how scary and unfortunate is that? I know a handful of people like that in the "scene." A bunch of nothing without it. I was never all that impressed anyway so the loss is bearable. I didn't even weep, not even a little. He's too blinded by the left to see what's right. Literally.

Again, no apology.

There is something liberating about pissing people off just enough they exclude you. It's like Colonel Travis drawing a line in the sand. I don't mind drawing those lines and watching who steps and who doesn't. I'm actually kind of enjoying it if you can't tell. I want to know the people I should never consider again. Like in this instance. They have no real personal reasons to not like me. I've never been anything but cool to them. Like I said, some people just don't have the stones for this world. The world is full of cowards. I'm going to say my shit. If you're too big of a bitch to handle it. Block away. I want to get rid of those types. This is my invitation to them. That's the thing I love about this blog. If you came here and read my thoughts and got butt hurt. Shame on you. Quit reading my stuff stalker. If you don't like me go away. I'm certainly never going to look your way again. Ever. If you're thirsty, swallow your spit and try not to choke. At least around me.

Please do me the same courtesy. Anything else is just weird on your behalf. I'm not upset about anything. It's just a fact 1/2 of everybody ain't going to work it out. It's science I believe. Let's just let science do its thing here. Please stand up, please stand up. I'm making a list, checking it twice over here. Hahaha

2017, let's burn some bridges this year. Haha

The thing about that is these aren't bridges. These aren't friendships. So nothing is burned here. This is relief. Like the Tai Massage I had today. Amazing.

I made a commitment to myself to tighten my circle this year. Eliminate distractions. Invest my energy into dual sided relationships. Leave anything less than that behind for good. I learned I had a lot more "friends of the week" than any one man can take. In doing that my friendship lines got real blurry. I don't want to take anything away from the real people in my life for a bunch of one sided relationships. The few people that have my back deserve my full attention. I like making investments in people. My picker has just been broke for many years. It's a behavior I can't or won't let continue. I learned a few things about making changes and meeting goals last year. This is me taking those sometimes difficult steps to get that done in these areas of my life. You gotta flush it down. I hope one day I will remember the good things about all of this. I believe I will. It won't make me want it back. It will just be reconciliation and peace for myself. I can't worry about feelings here. Mine were never considered in many instances. It's kind of like that old relationship that ended horrible. As time goes on you start to remember the good things and not so much the bad. That's is my hope with all this eventually. It may be a pipe dream at this point, but I am hopeful to remember the good at some point. You have to have some kind of positive hope always. I believe I will eventually find that space.

So, if I apologize to anyone it's myself for opening myself up too much. None of those people deserved me. It's my truth and I won't be swayed otherwise. I'm going to do better research moving forward. Caution is the word I need to exercise that I historically struggle with. A man has to have conviction. Even if the price is uncomfortable. My tone is not to be confused with hatred. I've eliminated so many feelings of hate within the past couple of years. I'm making sure as I get older that I keep the hate and haters far from my squad. I'm doing this so I won't hate you. Like I said, I'm not calling names out. They know who they are. They know of their crimes. So, it's not hatred I feel. You have to give a shit to love or hate something. I would rather swallow my spit than invest in either emotion.

To my friends thanks for reading. Love to you and yours. Shoot me a message sometime. I'd love to hear how you're doing. 

If you're mad, remember this "Nobody cares." Especially me. I care the least of all. I'm stone cold.  

You don't even know. 

Jon Paul